10) ”Do you work here?” No, I’m just here wearing this uniform because I think its stylish
9) “Why is it so cold in here?” Its called air conditioning you idiot! This is South Florida and we need it to live so STFU!
8) “Is this machine broken?” Nope we just put a giant out of order sign on to confuse you.
7) “How can you be out of this?” Oh my god I am so sorry that other people than just YOU wanted to buy that item.
6) “Is it raining out there?” Nope, I’m wet because I decided to jump in a lake fully clothed. The umbrella? Oh its just a fashion statement.
5) ”Do you have a bathroom?” I’m sorry this building didn’t come with a bathroom so we just use that bucket over there. Don’t worry though because the money we save on water we use to buy really soft toilet paper.
4) “The date on my milk says it expired last week and there seems to be chunks floating in it. Do you think its ok to drink?” Its perfectly fine…those chunks are just the beginnings of yogurt. Grab yourself a bowl with some fruit and granola, scoop out the chunks and enjoy.
3) “Is this register closed?” Well let me think about this one…The light is off, there is no cashier, and there is a “closed” sign on the end of it. Yeah I’m pretty sure its open.
2) “Do you know what time the Home Depot around the corner opens?’ Nope “Well why not” Well lets see genius, maybe because I don’t friggin work for them.
1) ”I bought this $40 package of crab legs but I didn’t like them so I threw them out and I didn’t keep my receipt or the packaging that shows I even bought it. I can still return it though right?” Please just step away from my counter before I do something that gets me fired.